I have never been closer to God than I am right now. I've been through a turning point in my life, and it couldn't have come soon enough. God picked the right time and moment to give me what I needed. At the time I didn't think of it, but as my weekend progressed I was feeling His love. I still have some hurtles to get through, but I think I got pass the first hurtle, which is usually the hardest. Let me share my experience with you, so you may get encouragement from it.
Friday was very busy for me; I worked all day and had to go home to pick up my mom and the kids (my niece and nephew). We had to pay some bills and I had to make sure that I was back by 6:30pm so I can go to the Gateway House of Prayer (GHOP) conference with a friend. By the time we return home I was tired and didn't feel like leaving again. I called my friend ready to tell her I'm not going, but didn't get the chance before she asked if I was going. With just her asking me if I was going change my mind into going. I no longer felt tired, but excited with a hint of nerves. I didn't really know what to expect besides being around a bunch of people that I didn't know. I don't do well in big groups of people; I tend to clam up and try to make myself invisible, hince the nerves.
When we arrived my friend showed me around, and then we went to go sit down in the Prayer room. Around 7 music started so everyone stood up. I watched the band play as everyone else sang. I was still a little uncomfortable singing out loud, but once the second song started playing I didn't care about singing out any more; I just started belting it out. My body was swaying to the music (out of my control), but I did keep my body from jumping up and down. The worship lasted at least an hour, but it felt longer; I don't know I wasn't looking at a clock. I just know that by the time I sat down my knees where sore from standing too long.
As much as it felt good to I didn't want the music to stop. The conference had to move on, so it was time for the speaker to teach us the word. It was good to hear, and it's something that I want to look more into.
Fast Forward.........
Now it's the end of the conference, my friend and I are about to leave when a guy around my age approached me. At first I was shocked that a guy even approached me. Once he started talking I made sure to pay attention to what he was saying. I looked him in the eyes when he spoke, which I never do unless I am real comfortable with you. The guy told me that during the worship he saw a glow around me. That God gave him words to speak to me. He said that God was peeling my layers away like an onion, which will be uncomfortable, but He will give me strength through it. He will continue to give me strength throughout my journey and that I will be given my new wineskin. Once he was done I thanked him for giving me the message. I didn't really grasp what was given to me at the time. I think it's because I was in awe of everything, but I was blessed that God spoke to me. Out of all those people, God made sure that I received a message from Him.
Fast Forward.......
Now it’s Saturday afternoon and I'm with the ladies from church for our monthly luncheon. It's a great way to hang out with the people I love and talk about the Word. I was sitting on the couch with my head back and my eyes closed. I was tired, but I made sure that I was listening to the women around me. Then suddenly I got hit with this scared feeling in my stomach. It almost felt like I was going into a panic attack, I kept my eyes closed as my body began to shake terribly. During this whole time I was switching between listening to the women and praise the Lord. At one point they asked me what was going on, and I just said nothing. They left me alone and continue to talk to one another. Finally my wonderful friend came over and sat next to me and placed her hand on my arm. She can feel my body shaking and jerking, she laughs from joy. The Holy Spirit was flowing through me, and all I can do was let it flow. I lay down as my friend continues to have her hand on me and praying. I can still hear the rest of the women talking, but didn't pay to much attention to what they were saying. For what seemed like hours, the Holy Spirit let go enough to stop the shaking. When I got up I felt worn out, but good.
Rewind......
Friday night/Saturday Morning I had a violent dream, so viewer’s discretion is advised...lol. In my dream I was fighting against something, and this something I knew personally. In the process of fighting this thing, I cut its head off, and before the head hit the ground I was abruptly awaken by a Charlie Horse in my leg. At first I thought that God gave me the Charlie Horse to wake me out of a bad dream, but now I am not so sure. I tell you why, but first I need to fast forward again.
Fast Forward......
It's Saturday night, my friend and I went to GHOP again. I was feeling good and praising the Lord. That night a different speaker was teaching. As he was teaching he happens to mention a vision he had when he was praying. God gave him the task to minister in the heart of Tibet, which is very hard to get through the Eastern Gate to Tibet. They had an idol overlooking the Eastern Gate, besides there has to be special clearances in order to get in. It isn't easy to get those clearances. As long as he was down there he couldn't get to the heart of Tibet, and everyday he prayed for the clearance to pass through the Eastern Gate to get to Tibet. When he only had 4 days until he has to leave he prayed again for passage. As he was praying he got this vision of a demon attacking him. His tone of praying became like a battle cry. He vision himself with a sword, which if you know the armor of God, the sword represents the Word of God. As he continues to pray he was battling this demon until he was able to cut the demons head off. Once the demon was defeated, he was given word that he has defeated the Gate Keeper (Idol of the Eastern Gate), and now he will have clearance to goto the heart of Tibet.
Now the reason I mentioned this story was because as soon as I heard that he cut the head off the demon, it brought me back to my dream. I believe that the thing I was slaying was some sort of demon, if not a demon but a symbol of something that was holding me back from getting closer to God. Then God gave me a Charlie Horse in my leg, so I would be able to remember my dream. For those that know my past, knows that this was a big breakthrough for me. I can feel myself growing stronger in my Faith, and becoming more open in my life. Without God I would still be a quiet lonely woman, with nowhere to go with my life. So I thank the Lord for putting the wonderful, loving people from Church in my life, that I love, but most of all Thank You Father for loving me.
